A Fool's Oasis
by Cosy-Little-Crow
Summary: "I am Lithe, a student of the magical arts. My master is Asra, the fortune teller. I know little of his past. And as for the present..." This is a retelling of parts of Asra's route from the perspective of Lithe, a non-binary apprentice as they work through their feelings surrounding Asra, their past, and the investigation.
1. Chapter 1

I can see it on his face before he even opens his mouth to speak. I know what's coming. "I'll miss you."

It's the dead of a moonless night. The right time for beginning a journey, according to him. I think he was just trying to avoid me seeing him off. He knows how I feel about always being left behind.

"Here...take this. For you to play around with while I'm gone."

A gift? This can't be good. How long is he planning to leave me this time? He slips a hand into a deceptively small pouch.

"My tarot deck."

I reach out and the deck plops into my hand,the hum of Asra's magic tickling my palm.

"You think I'm ready, Master?"

I'm momentarily distracted by the vague whisper of the Arcana in my fingers twitch shut around the deck and the tingle of Asra's magic intensifies.

"You're still calling me that... You know I can't answer that for you. You've made incredible progress, but you still won't let go of your doubt. Do you think you're ready?"

Always answering questions with more questions. No, avoiding answers with more questions. I'm losing patience and everything in me is begging to ask why he won't just answer me for once.

"Why don't we ask the cards?"

He glances toward the door and I speak before he has the chance to make an exit.

"Excellent suggestion."

He practically lights up, heading for the backroom with a bounce to his step that I haven't seen in a while. He seems eager.

"It's been a while since we've practiced."

I realize my palms are sweating as the words break free from his lips. It has been a while. Months maybe? How long had he been gone last time?

"Because you're always gone?"

His shoulders sag a bit under the weight of his guilt. Good. Maybe he'll stop doing this?

"Maybe. Someday you'll find a real teacher...Well, I'm here now. Let's see how powerful you've become."

He's always going on about how "powerful" and "gifted"I am... But he still won't take me with him. Too dangerous. Too long. He'd worry.

I shake my head and try to clear my mind, focusing on Asra and letting the Arcana guide my hand. I shuffle the deck. His gaze follows the cards as they slip through my fingers. I place three cards face down, waiting for Asra's gaze to settle on one before sweeping the other two back into the deck. I flip the card on the table over.

"...The High Priestess."

I'm hit with a wave of unease, but when I speak, my voice is clear and strong.

"And what is she telling you?"

He leans close, expectant. He smells of sandalwood and hyacinth. He's been using the shampoo I made him while he was gone.

"Is she speaking to you now?"

He's impatient. When the cards speak to me, it isn't in any human tongue. Nonetheless, when my mind is clear, the answer comes to me.

"You've forsaken her."

"I have?"

He looks startled, violet eyes looking wild for half a second before he speaks.

"Yes. You've pushed her away, and buried her voice. She calls out to you, but you won't listen. Master, if you don't listen to her..."

A sharp knocking startles all three of us. A customer? By the time I get cut off I'm practically begging him to heed the warning, so its just as well we be interrupted before I make a fool of myself.

"Did you forget to put out the lantern again? Just as well. I can't stay any longer."

He stands and picks up his pack from the bookshelf holding ingredients on the back wall.

"Well then... take care of yourself, Lithe."

He still has something to say, but he won't say it. I open my mouth to inquire or to object. I'm not sure which, I think, but I am sure. I know what I want.

'Stay.'

'Don't go.'

'Don't leave me behind. Again.'

Its what I want to say, what I try to say, but he slips through the curtain to the shop and rounds on me as soon as I'm in the main shop.

"Until we meet again."

Asra slides his hat over his head, shielding his eyes from view. He parts the curtains soundlessly and slips out the back door. And just like that, he's gone again.

After last night's intrusion by a gangly plague doctor wanted for murder and the Countess who wants him hanged, I'm careful about closing up shop. I turn the first lock, and then the second and third. Almost satisfied, I press my right hand to the door and whisper a cross-me-not spell. The wood lights up beneath my palm, in the pattern of Asra's intricate designs. White whorls glow deep within the door, slowly fading into the grain. The shop will be well. All will be well. I pull my shawl tighter, and step out into the foggy street.

The morning mist is thick, yet to be scattered by the heat of day. It blankets the street in an ethereal, milky glow. I take a moment to appreciate the tranquil scene, when all at once... I feel the drag of exhaustion.

After the events of the previous night, I got even less sleep than I usually do without Asra beside me. When he's here we share a bed, unless he falls asleep in front of the hearth with Faust curled up in his shawl.

I break free from my thoughts, realizing I'm still staring off into the mist. I have to go. Now. Exhaling deeply, I continue toward the narrow, mossy steps that will lead me to the marketplace.

Wood groans beneath my feet as I step carefully onto the walkway. Daylight seeps through the gaps between the worn planks, shimmering on the water that flows below. It's early yet, and the marketplace is already wide awake. All around me are the sounds of bartering, laughter, vendors hawking their wares. A voice I know well calls out to me over the sea of noise.

"Lithe! Have you eaten? I've got that pumpkin loaf you like in the oven. Won't be long now. Come, sit down, talk for a while!"

I sniff the air on impulse and my stomach twists in hunger. I should probably be careful of the time... but I doubt I'd even make it to the palace sleep deprived and hungry. I nod.

The baker's sun-speckled face lights up with a broad smile. He leads me into the booth, and a warm, spicy scent surrounds me. As I settle against the back wall, he offers me a steaming tin cup and places his hands on his hips.

"And where is Asra?Sleeping in?"

I busy myself with my cup, staring down into the murky liquid. I take a sip and lick my lips before I answer.

"He's on a journey."

I swirl the hot, minty drink around my cup, nearly splashing it out the sides.

"Ahh, and where's he off to this time?"

The baker smiles warmly, then turns to check on the loaves baking in the large stone oven. When his eyes meet mine again I shrug and sip at my now-cooled drink. The baker gives me an odd look.

"He didn't tell you? How suspicious! You're telling me that rascal is keeping secrets from his prized pupil?"

The words are in jest, but they prod at my raw nerves in a way that compels me to answer. My answer feels heavy on my tongue and it tumbles out uncomfortably.

"It's always like that."

The thought of Asra sharing everything with me is laughable. 'Where are you going?' 'Out.' 'When will you be back?' 'Sooner or later.' It used to drive me crazy, wondering what he was hiding from me. But I've learned to live with it, more or less. I don't ask as often. I try to keep busy.

And my methods did work until recently. The last journey was hard. He was gone for months and didn't even bother to let me know it would be a while. When he came home nearly a fortnight ago I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. I was so angry when I heard he was approaching, but as soon as he came in his face lit up with that familiar warmth and I found myself embracing him instantly.

"Squeeze?"

Faust echoed in my mind as Asra and I stood in the doorway like that for quite some time.

I am pulled out of my daydreaming by the baker's warm laugh.

"You two are so complicated. So, he's off on some secret journey. And where are you off to today, if I may ask?"

I consider holding my tongue, but I decide he can be trusted. I lean in and tell him about the previous night's events, leaving out the doctor's intrusion.

I tell him about the deal and the palace. I think he can see that I'm nervous. I try not to think about how much I want Asra here in this moment. I should probably be on my way to the palace by now anyway.

"How's that bread coming along?"

With a shake of his head, the baker goes to the small wood stove to check. He slides the loaves out and places one atop some parchment and linen, wrapping the paper neatly before tying the cloth around it.

"There, all wrapped up for the road. Now, don't keep the Countess waiting!"

I reach for my coin purse, but he holds up a hand. Its not like I can't pay, but I'm grateful for the gesture. I give a backwards wave and head back out to join the flow of traffic.


	2. Chapter 2

Up ahead is a narrow stairwell, where the masses and their animals are tightly packed. As I climb the well-worn steps, something catches my eye. A fortune teller's booth, tucked away in a shady corner. Silver moons adorn the tapestries draped over the entrance, shrouding it in secrecy.

In spite of my inner turmoil the sight teases a smile out of me. How nostalgic... When we met, Asra was operating out of a place just like it.

I fight back a pang of grief thinking about our past. I needed a lot of help. I was completely useless back then.

But Asra was always there for me. He didn't have to bring me to the shop to recover from whatever happened to me, and he certainly didn't need to take me on as an apprentice. But he did.

As I'm lost in my musings, a patron emerges from the booth, caught up in conversation. I give a wide berth and keep my head down. I don't notice them backing into me until we crash into each other.

"Ack!"

The impact makes me stumble, teetering on the edge of a step. It also upsets the basket balanced on the stranger's hip...which sends a dozen or so pomegranates rolling down the stairs.

"Oh, perfect! As if I wasn't already late..."

I drop into a crouch beside the stranger to help, dark hair falling into my face as I do so. These are luxurious fruits. It's unusual to buy them in bulk. I spot one as it's about to be stomped under a stray hoof, and swipe it at the last second. When I hand it back to the stranger, their eyes sparkle with delight.

"Ooh, thank you! How sweet of you to help. And after I bumped into you in the first place."

I know I'm late, but this is kind of fun, and it helps settle my nerves about the palace. And about Asra. Together, we hunt the rest of them down, maneuvering through the steadily increasing foot traffic. Though we're nearly trampled trying, we manage to recover every last one.

"Well, I can't thank you enough!"

They rise to their feet, and offer me a hand. Their grip is strong. The skin of their small palm is rough against mine, calloused.

"Probably shouldn't do this, but..."

Rubbing it off on a sleeve, they offer me a fruit from the basket. When I accept it, the stranger gives me a smile that warms my chest. I don't remember ever eating this myself. I'm not even sure how. Maybe I could share it with Asra? If he gets back before it rots.

"Take care, all right?"

With a cheeky wink, they depart, slipping into the crowd.

"That was Portia, you know."

A rattling cough draws my attention. The fortune teller has moved to stand at the entrance of the booth, and is eyeing me with avid interest.

"She's the Countess's favorite. Favorite servant, that is. As for you... you look like a wanderer, yes? Wouldn't you like to hear what fortune the fates have spun for you?"

I haven't had my fortune told by anyone but Asra. It seems silly, but I feel like this is something too intimate to share with just anyone. I don't think I could be comfortable.

Besides, I'm already really behind schedule.

"No thanks."

I turn to leave, but a hand claps me on the shoulder and I pause.

"As you wish. But know this... Your fate will come to you either way."

I spot two gold teeth in their playful grin. "A bright future awaits you."

Their hand lifts from my shoulder and they disappear back into the booth.

As the sun journeys across the sky, I climb stair after stair after seemingly infinite stair. The higher I ascend, the fewer travelers I encounter along the way. By the time I reach the top of the stairs, I can barely walk.

Thankfully, it's near dark. I wipe the pouring sweat from my sun-beaten brow and look ahead. Before me is a towering gate of twisted iron. Beyond that, I can see the Palace closer than ever before. The sight of it makes it hard to catch my breath. It is much more enchanting up close than it is from the city below.

A guard stands on either side of the gate, I notice. They were so still, I had mistaken them for designs in the metal.

"My name is Lithe. I have come at the request of the Countess."

"Lithe?"

The left guard is the only one to speak, but they share a look, seeming unimpressed.

"We have no knowledge of you." The right guard speaks up.

"Unless you know the code, you must leave at once."

The left guard folds their hands over the hilt of a planted sword.

"What's going on here?"

Portia is gleaming with sweat, hair melted to her shoulders. Against her hip is the pomegranate basket, once again full. I practically sigh in relief.

"You!"

Her eyes gleam with recognition. The guards turn to address her, hands still at their swords.

"Do you know this miscreant, Portia?"

She rolls her eyes.

"That miscreant is the Countess's guest this evening. So you might want to watch your tone."

The guards shuffle in their armor, and Portia turns to me with a sweet smile. I smile wearily back. I've been walking for hours on very little sleep. I just want to be led to my accommodations and sleep for a week. Maybe two.

"After you."

I nod, keeping my composure even as a thrill goes down my spine, giving me a jolt of energy. I walk past them and Portia follows at my shoulder onto a long, steep bridge. The palace is right before me. I hear the gate slam shut, and there is no turning back.


	3. Chapter 3

Unfortunately, the fates did not take pity on me. I was called to supper after a bit of time to rest and change. There, the Countess explained what she was expecting of me. We were to track down Julian Devorak, the plague doctor who is supposed to be responsible for the death of the Count.

It felt like hours before I was finally able to head to my room and sleep. When I finally got settled, I was surprised to find myself tossing and turning. Exhausted as I was, I felt like something was calling to me. Reluctantly, I pulled myself out of bed and reached out with my magic.

I walk through deserted corridors and out through an archway until I find myself at the entrance to a large garden filled with exotic plants. I feel something cool against my leg and almost brush it away before I realize that it is Faust, Asra's familiar.

'Friend' she pushes the thought into my head. What on earth is she doing here? And if she's here… could he be here, too? Or had Asra sent her?

"Asra, Is he okay?" I ask as she settles in the folds of my scarf.

'Worried.' She shoots back.

I concentrate again on the tugging I feel drawing me into the garden and realize it's his aura. I reach out with my magic and take off at a dead run. I follow the pull of his magic until I'm leaning against a great willow next to a fountain and gasping for breath.

When I can breathe again, I step forward and run my fingers through the water. I concentrate on the shadows and colors in the water, watching as they change and deepen. As the ripples settle, I see Asra's face come into view. He's leaning over the water, bringing cupped handfuls to his mouth. Each drop that spills from his hands sends ripples through his image as I watch in wonder.

He drops his hands to his lap, shaking the water from his hair. Tiny droplets sparkle in his eyelashes as his eyes meet mine. "Lithe?!" He looks as surprised as I feel. If this isn't any spell of his, then how? Could I really have done this?

He leans forward and says softly "Can you hear me?"

I can only nod in reply, but that seems to be enough. His face splits into a brilliant smile.

"Incredible, Lithe!" He laughs. He's sitting cross-legged at the water, a great desert behind him.

"Ah, Faust. Looks like she found you all right. I wasn't all that sure about leaving her, but after that reading… I decided to trust my intuition.

"I'm glad that she's here. Thank you." I say, rubbing her head with my index finger. "I'm glad that you're here, too, Asra." His face flushes, and a large beast I hadn't noticed before snorts from where it rests at his knee. I laugh, too.

"Lithe, where is here anyway? Wait, I know that tree... Are you at the palace?"

Changing the subject as usual. Typical Asra. I fill him in on everything that's happened and his brow furrows, but the more I tell him, the brighter the gleam of pride in his eyes gets.

"Unbelievable. The day I leave turns out to be when you need me the most. And even then, you didn't really need me at all. I'm glad Faust is with you, at least. I would guess that she had something to do with this. If anything happens to either of you, she'll make certain I know. I can live with that."

The rumbling beast lifts its head and snorts at Asra again.

"It seems we've rested enough, Lithe. I have to go. But... I'm happy to have seen you."

The beast roars and takes off as soon as Asra is settled. The water swirls and ripples and when it stills, I see only my reflection with Faust at my side.

That place… It looked familiar. That copper sand, and the creature beside him. They're the same as my dream. So it was a vision, then. I'd forgotten all about it.

The stars must be aligned in some powerful way. But more than that… Magic is what you do to make the outcome you desire become reality. So… was it my desire to see him? Did my magic reach out to him, wherever he is? Or was it the other way around? Could he have missed me as much as I've been missing him?

Mind racing, I rise to my feet with Faust on my shoulder. Getting to my room unnoticed is going to be a challenge. Steeling myself, I turn back toward the palace. As I go, I listen to the birds' echoing calls, and I feel the weight of eyes on my back. Many eyes, from every corner of the garden. This place is so full of life.

I need sleep. Hastening my pace, I retreat back up the stairs and collapse into the too soft bed, letting sleep claim me.

The next day is spent speaking with the Countess over meals and tea. It takes several conversations and a reading before I agree to help her. I don't know what will come of it, but better I find the doctor myself. If she finds him, he will certainly die. I have to figure this out.

Nadia takes me to the library in the late afternoon. She points out Julian's desk and asks that I have a look. She had it searched, but not by anyone who had abilities like me or Asra.

I spent hours reading through notes, flipping through dusty leather bound tomes. I searched every drawer and reached out with my magic to find anything relevant. I wasn't expecting what I felt when I touched a huge dusty book. Asra.

He had been here. This was his. Why hadn't Asra told me he worked at the palace before we had met? I know Asra worries, but I'm getting so tired of all the secrets. The places I can't follow. I know that it's better to just accept it all, but I can't.

I miss someone that I'm not sure I really even know. When we met, I had no memory at all. How do I know that everything we've been together isn't some falsely fabricated life?

Suddenly I feel panicked, suffocated. I leave the library, rushing back to my room for my things and out into the palace gardens. I remember seeing a small iron gate leading to the moors.

Off the path and into the untamed brush I run. Through the trees, vines snapping around me as I run through them. Finally I reach the gate. I don't hesitate. I let the door swing shut with a metallic slam that echoes through the valley.

A curtain of coiling vines drops down before the door, smothering it from sight. Their twisting grasp stops just short of my ankle. I wander back, taking great heaving breaths as I turn to face the setting sun.

Wind sweeps through my garments, and I squint out over the valley. Steeper than I expected, and untamed. I don't mind. With one last glance behind me, I break into a run down the hill. The golden grass whips my limbs, and sweet-smelling air streams around me. I'm free… whatever that means… for now.


End file.
